by Madison Scheriff, RN
Many of us have been involved some way or another in caring for someone, whether it be a friend, parent, child, or spouse. With each caregiving situation comes unique and diverse challenges, and no one situation is exactly alike.
Caregiving for a Veteran can encompass both rewards and difficulties. Each Veteran has had a different experience in their lifetime and some have endured things that no person ever should. It is pertinent to keep this in mind when caring for someone who falls in this category.
Throughout this article, we will be covering some of the many challenges that can arise with caring for a Veteran and some tips and tricks to help navigate these challenges.
Points to Consider:
Some of the most common things that Veterans experience are physical traumas, chronic pain, and diseases linked to their time in service (Diabetes, Parkinson’s Disease, cancer, etc.). These physical ailments can play a large factor in a Veteran’s day to day life. For example, a Veteran who has lost a leg in service may now rely on his or her caregiver to help them transfer into and out of the shower as well as with getting their pants on. They might feel phantom limb pains; where you feel real pain where a limb once was. Or, a person with diabetes may not be able to feel their feet and may lose their balance easily, causing frequent falls. Regardless of the physical ailment at hand, one thing can always remain true- it is never easy. Not only can physical pain cause someone to be agitated or frustrated more easily but it can also cause feelings of depression, helplessness, and worthlessness. It can be aggravating and embarrassing for someone to lose their independence and have to ask someone else for help with something they’ve always been able to do.
There is also the mental health side of things that can play a significant role in a Veteran’s life. These could include post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following military combat, military sexual trauma (MST), or adjustment disorder; a disorder in which Veterans struggle to adjust to changing life following military service. This can include anxiety, sleep issues, overstimulation, and depression- just to name a few. These mental ailments can be just as debilitating, if not more, than physical ailments. It is not uncommon to have anxiety, sleep disturbances, depression, anger, hypervigilance, or substance abuse issues when PTSD, MST, or an adjustment disorder is prevalent. Additionally, there can be other feelings of angst or sadness following military service in relation to the sacrifices that were made, such as leaving their family behind or missing important life events. Many Veterans have lost friends in service and can experience sadness, guilt, or anger for many years to come.
How to Handle a Stressful Situation:
One of the biggest struggles with caregiving can be managing your response to their emotions. When the person you are caring for is a Veteran, this can be especially true. It is easy to get upset with someone when they are angry and taking it out on you. However, it is imperative to take a step back, breathe, and assess the issue at hand. Think: Are they angry at me, or are they projecting their anger onto me related to something they are going through? Are they in pain? Are they having a flashback? Did something trigger them? You may have to walk away to gather yourself, but it is okay to allow yourself to feel the emotions you’re feeling. However, it is not okay to take your anger out on your Veteran or cause harm. Try to give yourself some time to calm down which may give them some time to do the same. It might be easier to come back to it at a different time once the immediate feelings have ceased. Practicing positivity and trying to focus on avoiding accusatory or negative statements can be a good way to approach the issue at hand.
Caregiver Burnout:
Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed with what to do next with your Veteran, or maybe you are experiencing depression related to your life changing for you or your family. Maybe you are even experiencing emotional adjustments like intimacy or changes in sexual relations. These are all very real feelings that can come along with caregiving and they aren’t always easy.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, caregiver burnout is defined as physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion that happens while you’re taking care of something else. It can be accompanied by symptoms including anxiety/fear, anger, guilt, denial, negativity, or isolation. If you are experiencing these symptoms, the first step is to identify it; it is okay to feel these feelings. It is also okay to ask for help before the situation gets any worse, because you simply will not be providing the best care to your Veteran if you do not first care for yourself. Some people to rely on could be friends, family, support groups, or even a counselor/therapist. Asking for help often isn’t easy- not for our Veterans and not for ourselves. However, it is sometimes very much needed.
There are many resources to assist you in caring for your Veteran both virtually and in person, including support groups, counseling, community resources (meals on wheels, respite care), and self-care opportunities. See below some of the local and national outlets for support:
- UPCAP (Dial 2-1-1)
- Iron Mountain VA Medical Center 906-774-3300
- VA Caregiver Support Program 906-774-3300 ext. 32705
- VA Caregiver Support Website Caregiver Support | VA Iron Mountain Health Care | Veterans Affairs
- Escanaba Vet Center 906-233-0244
- National VA website www.va.gov
- National Suicide & Crisis Hotline (Dial 9-8-8)
“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” – Tia Walker
Hello, my name is Madison Scheriff and I have been with the Iron Mountain VA for almost two years.
I absolutely love serving Veterans and their Caregivers and found my niche working in the Caregiver Support Program!
I am born a Yooper and love spending time with my husband up at camp, at the beach, or riding the trails. We have two miniature dachshunds and they are our world! I also help coach high school girls softball and middle school boys basketball. I was blessed by sports growing up and I enjoy giving back and helping kids; it’s very humbling!
I am an avid Packer fan. Go Pack Go!
If you have questions, comments, or have caregiving topics you would like to see on this blog site, please send an e-mail to caregivers@upcap.org.
Until next time, pidä huolta itsestäsi!
Disclaimer: This blog exists to provide general information, not specific professional advice. No content on this site should be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your physician or other qualified clinician. No products are endorsed on this blog.
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